Just what exactly? Is not it enough that I am made by a rule feel much better? What exactly is incorrect with that?
There clearly was, i believe, a concealed expense to guidelines, which does not usually get talked about when you look at the poly community: the consequence those rules have actually on others.
Usually, individuals in polyamorous relationships–especially people simply beginning in polyamory–seem to embrace the theory that whatever occurs, provided that the initial few endures, the partnership will be effective. Irrespective of its impact on other people who could be romantically associated with one or both associated with the couples that are original. As a result of that, the rules are usually produced just involving the original couple, with small or no input from someone else, and much more imprtantly, little if any idea towards the effect on those guidelines on other people. The standpoint of every 3rd parties is seldom considered.
Due to that, there is seldom an acknowledgement that any rule which forbids individual A from doing X is possibly a guideline which deprives newcomer C from task X. The thing is this many highly in guidelines such as “we forbid you to definitely have sexual intercourse with any brand brand new partner when you look at the Monkey with Lotus Blossom and Chainsaw place, for the reason that it’s my favorite place” or “we forbid you to definitely visit Clayton’s home of Clams with any kind of date, because that’s the restaurant where we’d our very very first date” or “we forbid you to definitely rest over at somebody’s home beside you. Continue reading →